FUCK YEAH BAILEY

- August 20 -

baileygenine: tinyclicks: This is some sort of squirrel or chipmunk or badger. It has hand feet.  Oh the mighty tree otter. Take a gander at it’s broad tail which she uses  as a spatula whilst panning cakes in her kitchenette. It uses it’s tentacle like hands, which are nearly identical to that of a chipmunk*, to break into houses and/or steal cars. It’s red fur is to lower your self esteem and make you wish you graduated from college, and it’s black, beady, soulless eyes are really just holes in it’s head. Like the iguana, this mighty tree otter eats food. Unlike it’s closest relative, this MTO, for short, hates bigotry and improper use of commas, as well as comas. Don’t make where-it’s-eyes-should-be contact with this creature or it will do absolutely nothing. Also, when you weren’t looking, it made out with your lady friend over there, yes, that one. *Chipmunks only exist in cartoons and are not to be mistaken for chipmungs, chips made out of mung beans, and frowned upon worldwide. 

baileygenine:

tinyclicks:

This is some sort of squirrel or chipmunk or badger.

It has hand feet. 

Oh the mighty tree otter. Take a gander at it’s broad tail which she uses  as a spatula whilst panning cakes in her kitchenette. It uses it’s tentacle like hands, which are nearly identical to that of a chipmunk*, to break into houses and/or steal cars. It’s red fur is to lower your self esteem and make you wish you graduated from college, and it’s black, beady, soulless eyes are really just holes in it’s head. Like the iguana, this mighty tree otter eats food. Unlike it’s closest relative, this MTO, for short, hates bigotry and improper use of commas, as well as comas. Don’t make where-it’s-eyes-should-be contact with this creature or it will do absolutely nothing. Also, when you weren’t looking, it made out with your lady friend over there, yes, that one.

*Chipmunks only exist in cartoons and are not to be mistaken for chipmungs, chips made out of mung beans, and frowned upon worldwide. 

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  1. fuckyeahbailey reblogged this from bailey
  2. thebarmaiden said: When I read this, I heard it in my head as spoken by one of the narrators from those old Disney shows about animals, and it’s been echoing through my head ever since. Love it!
  3. -tea reblogged this from bailey
  4. worldwarmike said: You do too! You’re twins!
  5. electronsbro said: At least it’s not a drop bear. Koala-like in appearance, the drop bear has razor sharp claws and teeth - if it doesn’t crush you first. Many campers have met their end thanks to drop bears. That’s why you don’t set your tent up under tree branches.
  6. lisarahmat said: OMG GIANT SQUIRREL! You’re lucky it didn’t take the plane down.
  7. beyond-the-sanity-of-life reblogged this from bailey
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