Today I made potatoes just so I could eat ketchup. I really wish I had thought to wear this red sweatshirt during my ketchup eating stunt (a ketchstunt, if you will) because I have the habit (habit is such a derogatory term) of throwing ketchup all over the place, as if I were Jackson Pollock, and ketchup was my paint and you see where I’m going with this— I painted all of my ketchup before I got to eat it and here is a picture of my cat. Go drink a glass of water.